Thursday, October 18, 2018 by Madeleine King | Uncategorized

As an instructor and the person responsible for tuning chanters in my own pipe band, I have seen a lot of different tape job methodologies. Sometimes I find myself thinking... "what kind of person tapes his chanter like that?!?!". Well, here's ten things I have actually seen, and ten characters my imagination came up with to explain them.**  Enjoy!

The Down-Under - puts tape on the *bottom* of the tone-holes.

This experimental hipster will stop at nothing to improve the "tone" and "timbre" of his bagpipe. Most likely to bore you with in-depth discussions about the tonal centre of outer Hebridean mouth music as it relates to piob mhor. Is a regular contributor on BobDunsire.

The Rocket Richard - uses several layers of hockey tape over each hole.

This guy is the best at parties - he's always over the top. If some is good, more is better. He's figured out how to stash a brewski or two inside his pipe bag cover for "emergencies", and he tells the same jokes every time you talk to him. He's missing a couple teeth. Insists on singing the anthem at top volume along with the brass band at parades.

The Free Spirit - isn't picky about tape colour.

Is he a piper? Or a yoga instructor? Probably both. Never wears matching socks, and feels like generally, rhythm is just a suggestion. Sometimes he forgets his bagpipes and spends band practice creating interpretive choreographies to go with the show sets. Paints in his spare time.

The Charlie Chaplin - prefers tiny little squares of tape, sitting just over the holes. 

Master of the toothbrush moustache of tape jobs, Charlie refuses to waste anything. We're pretty sure he recycles old hemp as dental floss. Or the other way around. 

The Sticky Situation - removes old tape, but never cleans up the residue.
It's not *that* sticky. Oh, and moisture control? Funny, she's never even heard of it. Her last pipe major told her it was important to make sure she licks the reed before playing because that's where all the musical expression comes from. Her chanter reed is black. And fuzzy. When you're tuning her drones, the musty, earthy smell coming from the inside of the bag hits you like a brick wall, but she still insists you just "throw a penny in there to keep it fresh!". Her enthusiasm is undauntable. She wears the same outfit to every band practice.

The Pitch Persnickety - taped every hole; may as well have drilled all the holes personally.
She played flugelhorn in university, and no matter how much she moves the reed in her chanter, she's never *quite* satisfied with that F#. Or the D. Or the E, C#, and the B for that matter. Was that G flat or sharp? She's thinking about making her own reeds. And her own chanters. She grumbles a lot about "just intonation" and "non-standard pitch". She's pipe sergeant of the band.

The Boy Scout - keeps a mountain of spare tape on the sole of the chanter.
No spare tape? This guy's got you covered. In fact, he's got you covered for everything - he keeps a spare set of spats and an allen key in his pipe case. And a spare set of bagpipes in his car. And some water, and canned goods, and a swiss army knife. You offered him a lift to a gig once and he gave you a tour of the subterranean steel fallout shelter underneath his house. He's an actual boy scout leader.

The Minimalist - doesn't "do" tape.
No moisture control system, no flapper valve, no plastic parts, and no decorative mounts. Goes by her first name only. Regularly shows up to gigs with no bag cover. Only wears black. Considers herself a modern art expert; she frequently offers her opinion of your tune selection in the form of a haiku. Plays Piobaireachd, but only ever the ground.

The Rush Job - "Meh, that tape is close enough."
Shows up late to everything. Keeps his pipes in a ball at the bottom of a ratty Mountain Equipment Co-op knapsack. He believes in aliens and chemtrails, and he smokes pot. He's in a hurry, but nobody knows what for. We're not even sure where he lives.

The Classic - keeps a well pitched chanter with just a few notes touched up.
Reliable, level-headed, a great player. Probably your pipe corporal.

**Based on fictional characters. Mostly.

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